
I, Patrick B. Gullywater, attorney for the prosecution, wish to enter into evidence a photograph I have marked as Exhibit A. This photograph relates to the case of Keath Patterson vs. The Banana Express Sketch Holding Service, Ltd., whom did solicit Mr. Patterson on the day of Monday, May 14th in an effort to procure employment of sketch holding.
Firstly, Mr. Patterson was ill Monday, having a slight case of what has been diagnosed as The Boogie Woogie Flu. He might have also had a slight touch of the Rockin' Pneumonia, but we are waiting on medical confirmation. In his impaired state, Mr. Patterson agreed to employ the Banana Express Sketch Holding Service, Ltd. to properly support his "Sick Day" sketch for photography and inclusion in his blog, "Kitty Cat Jet Pack." The photograph, submitted now, is the result.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I call your attention to the fact this is sloppy work. For one thing, the sketch isn't even centered in the photograph. Secondly, the monkeys are obviously attempting to distract attention from the sketch to themselves, a situation compounded by the fact they aren't even supposed to be in the photo at all. Thirdly, I ask you to notice the unprofessional nature of the monkeys in question - why, one of them is even snoozing in the lower right corner. You can tell he's asleep by the z's clearly visible in the photograph.
The plaintiff is asking for a full refund of the fee charged, in this case sixteen oranges. This being Florida, oranges are highly prized and a refund of sixteen bananas will not be accepted as satisfactory.